This site was designed to aid in helping family members and loved ones of Meth Addicts understand the effects of Meth and How to Avoid becoming part of the problem. Yes, you have, can and maybe part of the problem your loved one is dealing with. Please take a moment and READ and THINK.
Understanding.... The first thing I would like to say on behalf of your loved one is Thank You for taking the time to read through this site. It is vitally important that you not only read this site but understand the content and severity of the rules. Most often people read through sites and think to themselves.. Hmmm yeah that may be true BUT not the same in my case, I think I can skip this rule as it does not apply in my situation. WRONG every rule and fact stated applies in ALL cases. There is no such thing as " A MILD CASE ". No mater how many PH'ds or Doctorates you have you will never understand the mind of a meth user. 1. Understand the person you are dealing with has a split personality disorder. Meth addicts tend to have two different personalities, one which is destructive to themselves and others and one which wants to stop and control their actions and behaviors. It is important to understand that they may want your help one minute and turn on you the next. They may often tell you they are fine just to get you to leave them alone. They may exhibit strange behaviors such as wanting to be left alone, give them their space. They may want to engage in sexual behavior one day and not want anything to do with it the next. They may say things that hurt your feelings, don't take it personally. They may tell you exactly what you want to hear even though they could care less what you think. 2. Understand they are not the same person you are used to knowing. They are afflicted with an addiction. Addiction is much like a disease, often times when dealing with an addiction such as smoking, marijuana, alcohol or other downers addicts are able to control their "cravings". This isn't the case with Meth, this drug alters the brain chemistry and changes the dopamine levels, its much like a person has been possessed by a demon. This demon takes control of their life, mind and body. It does not care who it hurts, does not care about the body it resides in, does not care if its host lives or dies. 3. Don't Judge them for their Affliction. You maybe inclined to Judge your addict and say things out of spite, you may call them worthless or hopeless. Just remember they are powerless over their addiction and can't help what they do and making comments that put them down will just make matters worse or God forbid may make them take their life. 4. Don't make threats to the Addict. You maybe inclined to make threats to the addict which you don't intend to keep such as, kicking them out of your home, canceling an activity they enjoy that is healthy, removing them from a relationship they are in, sending them away or calling the police. These things will just make the addict not trust you and make them want to use to get over the pain from what you just said. Remember they simply don't care. 5. Don't Suffer for the Addict. You may be inclined to feel sorry for the addict and show your pain, either by being upset around them, making a sigh with your breath trying to bite your tongue, you may also be inclined to take a cut in hours from your job to make yourself more present in their life, this is not helpful to you or the person you are trying to help. Don't let them know you are deeply hurt by what they are doing, this will just make them feel bad and make them feel like a burden to you and those around them. 6. Don't make excuses for the Addict. You may want to make excuses for your addict when they want or don't want to do something. Example. The addict may not want to have dinner or sex with you, avoid making the comments pertaining to their use. Don't make excuses for why they are not getting homework or their job done revolve around their use. If they don't want to be around others don't speak for them and tell others stuff like " oh they are having a bad day and can't talk. " 7. Don't Preach or Lecture to the Addict. You may want to sit down and communicate with them and try to get through to them that they need to change and what they are doing is wrong. DONT give them the third degree, they already feel bad enough. Let them come to you and ask for help, they will. Avoid cramming religion down their throats and telling them they need to make a change. They already know this. 8. Don't put pressure on the Addict. You might want to make plans for them and give them goals and force them to stick to them or suffer consequences. You cant paint their life picture for them, don't force them into finding a job, going to school or doing what you think is right. Ask them when they are somewhat sober what they plan on doing, if they say they want to goto school or get a job, encourage them to do so, but for whatever you do let them do it in their own time. Avoid giving them deadlines you know they can not keep. 9. Don't let them see your pain. If you enter a financial crisis from dealing with their problem, don't keep bringing up the fact that their problem has caused you this problem. This will only yet again make them feel like a burden and make them want to use. Don't sit around looking upset about how they are treating you, find something positive to do. Don't sigh and make stress gestures around them either this just alerts them that your worried about them and that they are causing you pain. 10. Don't give in to the Addiction. At some point you may just get sick of seeing them have cravings and decide to just join in on it as you don't think it will ever change and your to the point you would rather use with them than loose them. DO NOT do this, this would only make more of a problem for you and the addict. As much as you may think "if you cant beat it join it" don't. This will only make the addict loose respect for you when they finally choose to quit and possibly end your relationship with them. Ok, So I just covered the main things you need to avoid. Some of them you probably already did and now your here reading this site. Here are some things YOU MUST DO if you want to see them recover properly. 1. READ - read sites like this one and others, get an education on the drug you are dealing with, this problem isn't necessarily about the user but sometimes about the people around them YOU. 2. GET SUPPORT - Goto a support group such as NA or AA. I recommend NA, you may not have a drug problem but it would help you to goto a support group meeting and LISTEN to other addicts and family members instead of talking to your addict and making their problem worsen. 3. BE HEALTHY - Make sure you exhibit and maintain a healthy atmosphere for your addict to recover in, be sure that they are able to eat three square meals a day and are able to get medical treatments that are needed. Maintain a clean home, avoid having clutter. 4. BE CONSTRUCTIVE - Keep busy, don't sit around focusing on their addiction. Create time in your schedule to go on outings such as, going to a theme park, movie or events. Keep them busy with stuff thats fun, safe and interactive. 5. BE CAUTIOUS - Pay attention to the funds you leave around the house and banking access, Be careful about internet access, cell phone usage, text messaging. Letter from user... Dear Loved One, I am a drug abuser. I need help. Don't solve my problems for me. This only makes me lose respect for myself. Don't lecture, moralize, scold, blame or argue whether I'm stoned or not. It may make you feel better, but it only makes the situation worse. Don't accept my promises. The nature of my illness prevents my keeping them even though I mean them at the time. Promises are only my way of postponing pain. And don't keep switching agreements;if an agreement is made, stick to it. Don't loose your temper with me. It will destroy you and any possibility of helping me. Don't let your anxiety for me make you do what I should do for myself. Don't believe everything I tell you. Often I don't even know the truth let alone tell it. Don't cover up or try to spare me the consequences of my using. It may reduce the crisis, but it will make my illness worse. Above all, don't run away from reality as I do. Drug dependence, my illness, gets worse as my using continues. Start now to learn, to understand, to plan for your own recovery. Find Families Anonymous, Nar-Anon, Al-Anon or CoDa; those groups exist to help people in just your situation. I need help - from a doctor, a psychologist, a counselor, from some people in a self-help program who are in recovery from a drug problem themselves and from a Power greater than myself. Love, Your "User" Helpful Links : - Crystal Meth Recovery : http://www.thebody.com/content/art889.html - Do's and Don'ts of Loving a Meth Addict: http://www.gdcada.org/statistics/meth/methdos.htm - Blog Site for families and partners of Meth Addicts: - History and Effects of Crystal Meth: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methamphetamine - Letters from Users and Family Members: http://www.kci.org/meth_info/letters/2009/Februar_2009.htm - How to help a friend Overcome Meth Addiction: http://www.howtodothings.com/health-and-fitness/a4414-how-to-help-a-friend-overcome-meth-abuse.html - The Meth Project - Helps for Addicts and those around them : https://methproject.net/Take_Action/yourself.php - HIV Testing - Places to go get HIV testing : Disclaimer : This site was not written by a licensed practitioner however developed by people who have done extensive research on meth addiction, have lived through it and are continuing to combat meth addiction in the hopes of helping others cope with their situation. |
